Monday, August 6, 2012

GM & The Middle Wife -

    Enjoy, had to share !!!
The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd
 grade teacher


I've been teaching now for about fifteen
 years.  I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one
 I saw in my own second grade classroom a
 few years back.


When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell.
So I always have a few sessions with my
students.  It helps them get over shyness
and usually show-and-tell is pretty tame.
Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
And I never, ever place any boundaries or
limitations on them.  If they want to lug it
in to school and talk about it, they're
welcome to do so.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very
bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn
and waddles up to the front of the class
with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm
 going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol
 of their love, and then Dad put a seed in
my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an
umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on
the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and
wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom
 starts saying and going, "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!"
 Erica puts a hand behind her back and
groans. "She walked around the house for
like an hour, "Oh, oh, oh!" (Now this kid
is doing a  hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers
babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the
car like the Domino's man.
They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.
(Then Erica lies down with her back against
the wall.)

"And then, pop!  My Mom had this bag of
water she kept in there in case he got
thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all
over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid
has her legs spread with her little hands
mimicking water flowing away.. It was
too much!)

"Then the middle wife starts saying "push,
 push," and "breathe", breathe.  They started
 counting, but never even got past ten. Then,
 all of a sudden, out comes my brother.
He was covered in yucky stuff that they
all said it was from Mom's play-center,
(placenta) so there must be a lot of toys
inside there.
"When he got out, the middle wife spanked
 him for crawling up in there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical
 bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever
since then, when it's show-and-tell day,
I bring my camcorder, just in case another
"Middle Wife" comes along.

Now you have two choices....laugh and close
this page or pass this along to someone
else to spread the laughs.  I know what I

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance
to make someone happy!!!! ( I do my very best)