Saturday, June 30, 2012

: WORLDS LARGEST











 
 


Salary of retired US Presidents .............$180,000 FOR LIFE
 Salary of House/Senate ........................$174,000 FOR LIFE
Salary of Speaker of the House .............$223,500 FOR LIFE
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders ....$193,400 FOR LIFE
 
Average Salary of a Teacher..........$40,000
 
Average Salary of Soldier deployed in Afghanistan .......... $38,000
 
 
???You cannot clear up the water until you get the pigs out of the creek.???

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Fwd: Dog & Chimp


After a mother chimpanzee who lived in a zoo died, one of the zoo's employees took the baby chimp home to care for it. It never crossed his mind that his dog, who had recently given birth would adopt the chimp and raise it with her pups.























Monday, June 25, 2012

LOL-------- Green Side of the Grass (NEW comical song/video about aging!) AGING


More Walmartians











Are these things for real and where do they get them!!!  I know Walmarts but I haven't seem them!!








Subject:  More Walmartians
  
  
          
PLEASE PREPARE YOUR EYES ...   Its hard to believe they've gotten WORSE!

  
 
 
 I'm ticked off... and I have a scooter.

 
 
    
 
 
 Cmon, REALLY???
SHE WALKED OUT OF THE HOUSE DRESSED LIKE THAT???

  
  

 
Excuse me while I pour bleach in my eyes!!!
  
  
 
 
 
OMG, he'll catch his death of cold!

  
  

 If this was Arizona I bet they were done in 5 minutes.

  
  
 
 
 "
It looks like Otto is getting forgetful again."

  
 
 
 
Now what the hell is HE doing???

  
 
 
 
She said she wore a size 4, and by golly she wasn't lying.




     
Just glad she didn't turn around!

  
 
 
 
Let's see... 6'10" tall, and he goes out of the house wearing THOSE shoes!

  
 
 
 
Proof that the devil is married, 'cause here's his wife!!!

  
 
 
 
No comment.

  
 
  




     
Ditto.


 
 
 
What's he doing with his right hand? And how d'ya thinks he smells?

  
 
 
 
The red hat and purse bring out the tones in his skirt.

  
 
 
 
Huge breasts, shaved head, hairy arms. Is it a shemale?

  
 
 
 Is that pink underwear??? And is that a MAN???

  
 
 
 
Just resting the girls?

  
  

 
Please pass me that bleach...


 
 
 
Is it just me, or did this gal simply not wear ANY pants to the store???








         
  
 
 
 Momma,I gotta borrow your moo moo and shoes if you want me to go get you a snack



 


    
 
 
The Bleach, please...




     




     
.
 
 
What's that on her head?

  
 
 
UummâŠeeewww?

  
 
Can't wait to see what he pulls out.!!!

    
 
  





     
???

 
AND THE GRAND FINALE...




     
   








      










 







     
  
          








        
  
          








       




         













































































   





















   









































  
  
      



Fwd: Puns










Puns for Educated Minds



1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out it was only an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: to transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.




Check out AOL.com Video - Four Female Grooming Mistakes


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Fwd: Happy Sunday Morning



June 24 Celebrations.......
red floral divider
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
~Dale Carnegie
And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
~Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.
~Anon
red floral divider
I love Betty White- lol!
:)))---me
With all the rain we are having, I might need to call Noah! lol


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